Some three weeks ago, my wife broke her ankle while working in a home garden, routinely doing what she loves; caring for crops.
It was a sad thing to me watching my wife crying like a toddler due to the excruciating pain that ensued. As believers, our default reaction to this experience was to be two-fold; moralise or rationalise the ordeal.
On the hospital bed as she asked me about the heart of God concerning this suffering, I assured her that ‘ suffering is not in any way a sign of God’s displeasure at US. But rather that He is capable to turn suffering as tool for our good and His glory.’
It breaks my heart until now to see her still struggle with her daily routines but four days ago it was amazing to see how through this same disappointment, she has been granted eyes to see some spiritual truths that I cannot fathom how and who would have accomplished such a transformation upon her heart except God Himself.
As she narrated the story to me, it was as if she were saying…..”What really was broken in me , wasn’t the leg but my heart, I have discovered in so many ways how I tried so hard to play god even over my children performance at school, their choice of career, my relationship and even my own career has to date focused on achieving a safety net for years to come,” she explained.
It is unbelievable and beyond our common understanding how God can work in our hearts through unwanted things and means. Sometimes He puts a “pause” button, when we normally wouldn’t ourselves, for us to be still and know that He is God, capable of changing our hearts. He removes the veil over our eyes for us to see His truth which was before us all along yet we saw but did not see.
I find the poem below painfully true of our spiritual life on saw many levels.
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On Joy and Sorrow
by Kahlil Gibran
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
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