Selfishness vs. sacrifice is a hard argument to make. We humans love being selfish; and selfishness isn’t always obvious. Even in the early stages of romantic relationships we’re excited and motivated by what we can get out of it – even if we don’t realize it.
We feel great when we’re with the other person, we’re flooded by positive emotions, and we’re enamored with them in every way. Of course you want to love each other! That stage of the relationship is good, and meant to be enjoyed!
However…(and that’s a BIG however), love blossoms only with time, trial, and a solid track record.
Early love (dating, engaged, newly married) is immature. This immaturity isn’t bad so long as it DOES mature at the proper time. This is where couples can often lose sight of true, lasting love that only comes with time and maturity of their relationship. As soon as the feelings fade, it’s time to exit. Immature love always fails eventually.
In marriage, the goal is to give love the space and time to mature into full-grown, relentless devotion. That kind of love never gives up. That kind of love endures all manner of hardship. And when shared, that kind of love is unbreakable.
So how do we move from selfishness to sacrifice and from immaturity to maturity? How can we love more perfectly the spouse God has given us?
The only credible answer we know is found in one man: Jesus.
Christ alone gives us the fullness of identity, security, and meaning that we desperately need in this life. He takes our shortcomings and redeems them by his saving grace. It’s that marvelous work of grace in our lives that gives us the power to love with maturity.
Let Christ be your life’s grandest pursuit. Stir your affections for him daily…hourly…every minute. Remind yourself of the Gospel and the saving love of Jesus, and give your sin to him (repent). It’s from that place of realizing Christ’s perfect love that you’ll be able to love your spouse sacrificially and not selfishly.
Stay fierce,
Ryan & Selena
#fiercemarriage #love #marriage
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